Are Gay Men Afraid of Being Single?

Bi-Rite Super Market

Image by stgermh via Flickr

Well…I’m back to posting these days & I figure rather than let these ideas just bounce around in my head with no real therapeutic value why not just dump them here?

So I’m (mumble, mumble, mumble) years old and I’m finding that apparently I should have had a memorial service held for me by now when it comes to gay years. Whether I’m on FB or any sites where dating might be an option, it seems that once your age is preceded with a “4” you’re as good as dead. You might not like feel like you’re dead but you may as well be.

Even when I come across guy who is in my own age group they’re most likely to be looking for younger guys so that shrinks my dating pool.  Of the other guys in that age group most appear to be happily partnered so that shrinks my dating pool.  Even within that group there’s the “happily partnered but play alone” group and they shrink my dating pool.

So basically you’re either 45ish & want a dad/son/bro thingy with 35 and younger “boi”, or you’re supposedly with Mister right but you wanna have something on the side….it boggles the mind frankly.

Guess what? The pool is bone dry I hate to say….

I’m not really whining I suppose, of the guys in these groups I probably wouldn’t want to date someone with either of those mindsets.

What I want to know about our community is…  When did it become so awful to actually be single?  When did it become a bad thing to be on your own, with your shit together, living life until that certain someone crosses your path for something more?

Are we really that afraid of being alone or worse…dying alone?  That we’re willing to be with someone in a “happily partnered but play alone” situation that we’re settling for something less?

Maybe I’m old-fashioned, I hate that term but it’s all I’ve got right now.

When my life crossed paths with that great relationship of my life I didn’t have to deal with another person in the relationship.  I mean if you were out there meeting guys, dating etc., then you were pretty safe they were single.  Anyone who was “playing on the side” was the exception and not the rule like it is today.

A co-worker told me the other day that he met this nice guy in P’Town, they’ve been texting non stop etc. (I tried to be excited for him…)  Guess what?  That guy has a partner but they supposedly have problems so he’s in P’Town meeting other guys. >,>

Don’t get me wrong.  I know that “IT” will happen someday whenever its meant to happen.  I know this because I keep going to the super market & hanging out in the produce section.  I do this so I can see what my “potential” Mister right chooses.  If they’re prone to fresh leaf spinach for example then I move on to another section.  I gag at the smell of fresh steamed spinach…I kid, sorta. >,>

But seriously.  They way things are trending these days and from what I’ve been seeing play out around me.  Chances are that my “Mister the sparks are flying in the produce section” will most likely end up being”Mister the sparks are flying in the produce section – but happily partnered”.


About John Smith

I believe in treating people with love, peace & compassion Above All Else.
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