Acceptance in my daily life…

Humm.  Well I suppose I could be angry my job grade level went down a notch or I could accept it for what it is & find a solution to get to where I want to go.  Thankfully I’ve been much more of the latter these days.

2010 with my company has taught me that I’m not going to benefit from fighting the big corporate monster that is “Process on top of process on top of process & procedures.”  Basically adopt the “I’m not in control, don’t make yourself mental, find the stuff you do control.” mentality.  When I started to take a step back from it all, de-personalize my contributions to the process & simply accept that I merely fill a function nothing more, it became much easier to just accept what is.

That being said the real work ahead is to keep my head screwed on straight & operate from a mindset of “Ok, I’ve heard you & that makes sense, now what do we do to get me to the level I want to be.”  That phrase will be used with my manager & myself this coming year as we map out a way to get myself to being an officer of the company again.  Probably more than one year but whatever it takes I suppose.  I miss having the letters AVP in my title.  It meant people replied to your emails & phone calls & they carried a certain level of built in respect.

The good news is that even though my “Tier” as they call it has been “Standardized” down one notch that just means that to get myself back up a notch 90% of the requirements are already done.  I’m looking at it as, it was going to happen anyway, there was nothing I could do that was going to stop the change that was coming, & now I just need to focus on getting where I want to be.  I don’t lose any salary or anything too horrible, my bonus pool will be smaller but we hardly ever get those anyway so who cares right?  However.  The one thing that will be missed in my email signatures is having to drop the letters Sr. or “Senior” from my Sr. Business Analyst title.  The work is the same & yes the salary is the same but I’m not looking forward to people who don’t know me judge me based on my new email signature of just Business Analyst.  Heck, if I got an email from someone I didn’t know well that wasn’t proceeded by Sr. I’d certainly think of them as not as skilled as I am, it’s only natural.  No offense but thats just the way things are & I’m sure it will happen to me.  Oh well.

Back to acceptance & detachment.  Lol.  I added detachment because it’s what you have to do to survive in today’s corporate world.  Gone are the days of a CIO or VP asking me to solve a particular situation & letting me run with it.  I used to get such great positive strokes from unleashing my creativity at work that way.  Effecting how our website was designed, weighing in on what a good color scheme was, directing how I thought navigation should be implemented for the ease of use of the public.  It may sound boring but for me it was creative, I loved it & thrived on it.

Today I’ll have to be “ok” with things as they are, I won’t say happy because I’m a ways away from that feeling at the moment, lol.  I’ll definitely find a way to be ok with the fact that I merely fill a function.  That I merely document processes for some very complicated needs, & it does fill a need no doubt about that.  But my days of being the leader who’s words weren’t challenged during a meeting or conference calls are now different.  Not gone, not one way or the other, just a little more challenging maybe & definitely no where near as creative as they used to be.

In effect, my job is now just a job & not a passion.  I’ll have to accept that & continue moving on, looking for & working towards my ultimate goal…

Creating & directing eMedia experiences which is an exciting frontier & perfect outlet for me.  Now I just gotta get there…

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About John Smith

I believe in treating people with love, peace & compassion Above All Else.
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